How to build a resilience to stay focussed on your goals
“I have the resilience and presence to stay focused on my greater purpose, no matter what life throws at me.”
If you were part of my FB Group workshop; How to Build a Resilience Mindset you will know that resilience is simply a tool we all have within us. We can use this tool to overcome whatever challenges we face, whether they are internal or external.
Resilience is when:
- We take action regardless of the feelings and stories we tell ourselves.
We do this by becoming aware of your conscious thought patterns, learning to practice self care when you are down, and transforming unhelpful thought patterns that no longer serve you.
- We take action regardless of the success or failure that has already been experienced.
We do this by not letting failure become an excuse to give up on our goals and ambitions. We also do this by not letting success be a reason to become complacent. True mastery, after all, is not a destination.
- We act on the decisions we make no matter what obstacles may come up for us.
We do this because we remember showing up for our future selves is more important than our desire to stay the same. We remember that like the seasons, we are constantly moving through a cycle, shedding, re-blossoming, embracing the summer, to go back through the cycles again.
When we can overcome these challenges we are practicing our resilience. You see, the more we level up in life, the more we are likely to have new challenges come at us. Even the internal ones.
For example in a new role, with new responsibilities, a different leadership, process and systems there will be new hurdles to face. It is through your experience that you build both the skills and resilience to learn how to face them.
Skills alone are not enough, unfortunately, that is why you cannot study a recipe and expect to eat a cake after you have finished reading. The experience of actually making the cake, practising with the ingredients and getting burned once or twice, is what builds the experience and ultimately, resilience in cake making.
The same is true of your work, business or personal life.
Imposter Syndrome is a much larger topic for another day but I do want to give it a nod here. This is because, so many of us, women especially, are likely to feel ‘imposter syndrome’ at any of the following stages:
- Reading about a cake recipe, before ever trying to actually make a cake
- Whilst making the cake
- Whilst eating the cake
- Having many people tell her how damn delicious that cake is.
Just in case this isn’t landing, the cake is a metaphor for your career. IF this is you, I invite you to refer to the comments above as a starting point.
Now, I do not mean to trivialise imposter syndrome. I have felt it many a time and am familiar with the crippling feeling of self doubt, overwhelm and fear that it brings. After spending much time in this space, I have learnt the hard way there are ways to overcome. Building a resilience mindset is certainly one of them.
- Think about a qualification you have gained. Did you feel more equipped to deliver on that subject with or without experience of actually doing it in the real world?
- What challenges are coming up for you right now at work? List 1-3.
- Do you have the right skills (qualifications, training) to actually deliver them yet?
- Do you have any experience (aka tried, possibly failed, and tried again) in actually overcoming this task?
- Do you have any actual evidence that you are incapable of doing this task?
- Are you putting the skills and experience you have to use? (sounds obvious but it’s amazing how we forget just how capable we are sometimes).
- If you were to objectively look at your capabilities in overcoming the challenge, are you able to?
- What is stopping you?